Small Victories

Sometimes it's the little things that we accomplish that mean the most.

A's parents came down two weekends ago and we had a very nice lunch at our new place. I made tacos for the four of us and my parents stopped by after for dessert. After a touch of awkwardness (I mean, it was only their second time meeting after all) it was just so nice to have our families together in our new home. My parents only stayed for a little while and as they were leaving my mom made a comment to A's mom that she was excited the two of them were going to be able to plan a wedding soon and did she want to come dress shopping with us. It was such a little comment (followed by the remark that weddings take at least two years to plan from A's mom... baby steps) but for the rest of the time that we spent with his parents that day, his mom kept bringing up the subject. In the nearly four years that I have known this woman I can literally count the number of chatty conversations we've had together on one hand. I don't know if it was my mom's comment, or if she's finally starting to accept that they are stuck with me, or what, but she was actually being chatty and talking to me and I was overjoyed. I never wanted to get married before A but I always imagined that if I did that I would be super close to my in-laws and especially my Mother in Law. I reconciled that dream years ago but I keep trying anyways and I love that we are finally breaking some barriers down. We have lots of time to become a family.

Last weekend our friends from college came down to break in our new pad with a party. It was so great to see them and have them celebrate with us.

Also last weekend I decided that I was going to run  10 miles before Thanksgiving. I know that doesn't sounds like a lot to anyone but me but with my knee situation that has kind of been a miracle. Today I was able to run 1.25 miles straight and I had the hugest silliest grin on my face. My knees hurt now but I was able to do it. I have 7.75 more miles to go and I'm really excited. I've also been working on the weights and sometimes I think I can see results. My mom and I have committed to going to the gym together after work MWF so that has been really fun and motivating. My eating habits are getting better but living in two places at once is hard. Often I fall asleep at the apartment before I can make my lunch for the next day and then have to wake up and rush home so I can actually go to sleep. Sometimes I manage to make lunch or snacks at the apartment and forget to bring them home in my half asleep rush to get back. I don't have enough time in the morning to make anything for lunch. I barely manage making breakfast. So eating habits are next on my list to change.

A and I officially joined our bank accounts so we are excited about that. One step closer!!!

We have started talking about a venue and a date but nothing is decided yet. We have tentatively picked October 2014 but depending on our venue that could easily change due to availability etc.

I am no longer being babysat at work and am getting to know my coworkers. Tomorrow a bunch of us are going out to lunch together and then after work I am getting a pedicure with one of them. It's fun to have some new friends.

We officially moved Beckham into the apartment. He had a few days of adjustment but it's getting better. We  Anthony built him a "tree", or whatever these things are called:

Anyways, he loves it.

But that's all for now folks!!

If this were a movie

Today marked the end of my second week at my new job. That's right! Two and a half weeks ago I said goodbye to my amazing coworkers and STOPPED COMMUTING!!

Excuse the horrendous picture and my apparent lack of eyebrows

 It's been a little rough. Between new information overload, adjusting to a much harder work schedule, and completely rearranging my sleeping schedule I have been struggling just a little. I have reverted into a full blown Starbucks addict (although today I have made the decision to quit... Except for when my boss so generously buys it for the office because come on... I'm only human) and it's become completely outrageous. The past two weeks have also been completely unhealthy... Stress and not sleeping and eating to keep me awake etc etc.
On top of this we are currently moving into our new apartment.

By "our" new apartment what I really mean is our new apartment that only A is living in currently. I spend all of my time there but since we are not married yet I am not sleeping there. It's been really fun to move in but the day after we got the keys A got shipped off an hour away to stay in a hotel for job training so I was by myself for the week.It has been fun moving everything in though. I will post pictures as soon as we are officially done for the time being. The in-laws are coming down on Sunday to see it so it will have to be done by then. 

On top of all of this we have been super happy. Almost too happy. Everything that we have been talking about for the last couple years has been coming true. About a month ago I started to worry. It seems so silly to see it in writing but it's true. Things were going too well, at least in my mind and I was actually afraid to be too happy. It was like I was afraid to have such a big high because I was worried about the huge low I was sure that was going to follow. I didn't say anything to A because I didn't want  him to worry too. But then, a couple weeks after I started feeling this way A and I were driving and all of the sudden he turned to me and said, "Do you get the feeling that everything has been going too well lately?" I was amazed and so relieved that we were on the same path. "If this were a movie something tragic would happen right about now." I hadn't quite thought about it in those specific terms but he was right, that was the exact line of thought that I had been on. But in the end, that's a terrible way to live. You can't just live life expecting the worst. God has been teaching me to trust Him lately so that is what I am going to do. We are super happy and just trying to live and love and enjoy this precious life. What will come will come and we will take it when it does. As long as we do it together we will be perfectly fine.

One Step Closer

This past weekend A and I did some serious apartment hunting. We finally decided which one we wanted to apply for and spent Sunday and Monday gathering the various documentation from our new jobs etc that we needed for the application (it's seriously hard core). So this morning I took everything and went down to the complex to turn in our paperwork and officially apply for the apartment.
I got there and they won't accept checks or cash, so I had to go down to my bank to get a money order for the application fee and then go and drop it off.
I then drove home and as I was pulling up to my house (having decided that it definitely wasn't worth it today to drive to work) I got the call that we were accepted so long as our criminal check cleared (which it will.. duh)!!!
So I went back to the bank to get ANOTHER money order for the holding fee, went back to the complex to drop it off and came home again.
Basically I feel like I drove around my town about 6 times today.

BUT WE GOT AN APARTMENT!!! Yay! I'm so excited to be able to see it and move in. It's kind of hard to believe that this is all happening and the amounts of blessings that are pouring in are almost overwhelming. But we are so thankful that this is all working out for us right now so we'll take it as it comes :]

Times They Are a Changin

This past month may have been the best month of my life so far. At the very least it's been a whirlwind; a blur of happiness, hope, and plans.
September started out with an engagement. Mine, in fact.
Yes, ladies and gents, I am marrying this hunk:

On September 7th, 2013 after church and a lovely dinner with my parents, we stole away to the beach  for a nighttime stroll in the sand. Eventually we sat down with our feet just avoiding the water and he launched into this story about a tv show we both enjoy and how the series finale (which I haven't seen) involved the two main characters being able to spend two lifetimes together. In response I casually told him that I would spend two lifetimes with him (because, come on, how obvious is that?! :P ) so he pulled out this baby 

How beautiful right?! He picked it out all by himself (**swoon**)

and said "Want to start tonight?"

We got celebratory coffee at Mickey Dee's and then headed home where my father snapped this suuuuper attractive picture of us. It was ridiculously hot that day and humid and awful and not at all a good representation of Southern California coastal weather. So this is what we looked like at the end of the day...

My parents have been very excited and supportive about this. Yes, he asked my dad's permission to ask me. Yes, that's required in my family. Yes, he was super scared to ask (my dad, not me... Obviously I was going to say yes. In fact, my exact words were "Well duh!"). 

So there you have it... I am the Future "Mrs. A". Yes, his first AND last name starts with "A" :] We are so excited to start our lives together... But that comes later in the post so stay tuned.

September continued with a birthday, also mine. September 15th was my 22nd birthday. I got to celebrate it with my friends in the house that I used to live in while I was in school. 

It was hipster themed as per my former roommates' instructions and we all had a great time getting to catch up and see one another again.

September ended with A and myself interviewing for respective jobs. It was a lot of fun because A had to be down here for all of his interviews since the job he applied for is in my hometown. The job I was interviewing for is not in my hometown but in a bordering town so I would only be commuting 25 miles a day instead of 140. That's just fine with me!!!

October so far has been incredibly good to us. 

A got his job in my hometown so he is officially moving down here in two weeks.

I got my job so I am officially going to stop commuting in two weeks.

God has just been so incredibly good to us and I don't think I have ever prayed more in my life. I am so thankful that words fail me on how to convey how I truly feel.

A came down again this weekend and on Saturday we did some serious apartment hunting. We have found the apartment that we want to live in. We are just waiting on official letters of hire from our new jobs to come through to us before we apply for it this week. I am praying that the apartments don't get snagged up by other people before I can get there!

Sometimes it is hard for us to believe that this is all actually happening. That we are finally grown-ups and have big-girl and big-boy jobs and that we are applying for our first apartment together. I'm so excited to have our little family together all in one place (you, me, and the kitty). I am also completely stoked that I don't have to move to LA and I can stay here in my amazing hometown. I am even more stoked that this means I can continue attending my church that I absolutely love. God is so good! 

I had literally given up on my job. I thought that I hadn't gotten it. I made up my mind that the next day I was going to start applying again. I wasn't even upset about it, because I became acutely aware of how much God has taken care of me these past couple of months. For a while I was so upset that all of the plans I was making were falling through and that nothing was working out for me. But honestly where would we be if all of them had "worked out"? God has a plan and that was clearly not in His plan. In a way I feel like He was trying to teach me how to trust Him and as soon as I latched onto the concept and gave everything over to Him I was rewarded with seeing what He truly had in store for me and for us. I feel truly lucky to be embarking on this journey with my best friend and the most incredible guy I have ever known. And I feel so lucky that I have a God that is taking care of us and who has a plan for us. 

Woes of a Commuter

I never expected to be in love with commuting. I never expected to wake up every morning and be excited to have to drive 140 miles that day. I didn't have any preconceived notions that commuting was going to fabulous and easy... I expected it to be my reality for a while and since it was never going to be permanent it was going to be fine...

Commuting has taken over my life.

Don't get me wrong. I am so incredibly thankful for my two jobs. As someone who is currently in the market for a new job, I understand perfectly just how hard it is to find a job. A good job is even harder. I have two great jobs. Even though sometimes I don't appreciate them, they are fantastic. But my main job was a school job and I'm no longer in school. It's time for a new one.

In the meantime I am commuting.

By all standards I am a lucky commuter. I am typically going against traffic (for which I am eternally grateful, I would not have moved home if I had to commute with traffic. For those of you that do, I salute you) so even though I am driving for an hour (1h15m-ish) I am actually driving and not just sitting in traffic. Again, "typically". The problem with how long the drive is, is how much can go wrong between my house and work.

- Immigration checkpoint could be on - Overturned car - Car accident - Fire on/beside the freeway - Construction

So on any given day when I leave my house I have no idea how long it will actually take me to get to work. Almost every time I have promised my boss that I would come in early for work I have, in fact, been late because something has happened on the road outside of my control.

Another problem is that at 10pm the freeways get shut down where there is construction. There are currently 4 points of construction between my Point A and B so when I have rehearsals at night or want to go out to dinner with my friends I don't end up getting home until around midnight sometimes because of closures and traffic.

And because I am now driving so much I have had problems such as this:

I was incredibly lucky that this happened at work and not somewhere within my commute. But I am seriously putting wear and tear on my tires enough that this one literally just pulled apart. Luckily a friend came to my rescue and put on the spare so that I could drive an hour and a half on the freeway back home.

Last Monday I was driving to work and feeling incredibly down and sorry for myself with everything going on right now and as I changed freeways I looked to my right and saw three pristine perfect white doves flying together on the side of the freeway. It was as if God was smacking me in the face for being so ungrateful and untrusting. Literally the first thought that popped in my head was "Touché". So I am trying not to worry about it anymore. A door will open. Everything will be fine. 

On the Wednesday after ^ I received an email from a company about 13 miles from my house (that I had not applied to) asking to set up a phone interview because they liked my resumé. On Thursday morning I had my interview and the woman told me that she was recommending me to the owner of the company to get in touch with me and schedule an in-house interview. I'm really excited and I really hope that I get it because it seems like a great job. Fingers crossed and lots of prayers.

Hopefully I won't be commuting for much longer!!

Long Distance

Long Distance sucks. I always thought that I would never be the girl to put up with long distance... That is until I fell in love with a boy that just happened to move back to his home town three years into our relationship.

In my mind there is really no perk to being far away from each other and nothing to really make it better. I think that perhaps it may have been easier on us if our relationship had been this way from the start. At least then it would be our normal. But it isn't.

A and I met in the dorms of our University our freshman year of college (Fun Fact: My parents met each other in the same dorms, just on a different hall). We both lived on the Honors Hall and started out as friends.

The concert that lead to us getting together 

For anyone who has not had the fortune to experience dorm living, let me explain a few things.
1. Here is how it works: A bunch of strangers of roughly the same age are taken and forced to co-habitate with each other for a year. You find people you love, and those you don't.
2. Because you are all forced to live with each other, relationships are ridiculously accelerated. It shouldn't be that surprising really, you see each other every day, every night, in the bathroom, and in our case for honors we were taking classes together. In this type of environment you find out who people are pretty quickly. So, strangers can become best friends, total enemies, lovers, etc in about 2.5 seconds. One can also go through the stages in about 5 seconds.
3. I was a little bit different. Because I was so involved with the dance team, I spent the first couple of weeks (most of the first quarter actually) away from my hall. By the time I started making friends with people the rest of the hall had already sort of established its groups and whatnot and I slowly broke into some of them.

When I met A, he still had his high school girlfriend, but we became friends. Really good friends. It was in our second quarter when we got together. A few months into our relationship he reasoned that he had already probably spent more "actual" time with me than with his longest relationship. Because in a dorm you literally eat, sleep, and live with your hall mates. In other words... We were living together before we were even together.

Our second and third year at school all of my hall friends moved into the same apartment complex so that we were all still effectively living together. The girls and boys apartments even shared respective patios.

Summers sucked but we made a lot of effort to see each other... Going to Disneyland (the halfway mark) or going on vacations. But it was always okay because it was only 2.5 months and we would just go back to school.

Now because we are both working full time and A's schedule is so inconsistent we maybe see each other once a week.

After living together for three years we are now two hours away from each other with completely conflicting work schedules. My dad says to be thankful that we have modern technology like Skype and cell phones and Facetime... And I am.

But it is 6 months into this arrangement and I don't know how much longer I can handle it. Our plan is to get married but we want to be financially stable and we both need jobs in the same area and... and... and....

It just kind of seems like it isn't ever going to end.

P.S. 

If anyone has any suggestions on how they cope with long distance... I'd love to hear them :]

Summer Time

This summer... Well... Really the past month has been a little obnoxiously crazy and wonderful. One of the reasons that I haven't applied for other jobs yet is because I really wanted to take advantage of how flexible my current job is so that I could fully indulge in my last summer before full-blown adulthood.
So.
A and I went camping.
My family and I went to Tahoe and the Bay Area to visit family and friends.
I went to Central CA to visit my brother's girlfriend.
And I have just been genuinely enjoying myself.
Pictures to come later :]

The only problem with vacations is that after a while all I want is to resume normalcy. Before this weekend I had spent exactly three nights at home in the last three weeks. That's absurd! I had a great time but honestly I am just so ready to be back to normal. What I need more than anything in my life right ow is a weekend at home. I had been planning on going to visit my grandparents this past weekend but I just honestly couldn't. I can't afford the gas but more importantly I can't afford the mental state it would've left me in. I was still currently living out of a suitcase. My room was a disaster. My car is filthy and still lugging camping stuff in its trunk..... I couldn't. I needed to be at home for at least one weekend. Stuff from the move is still everywhere and my room is still completely unorganized and I hate it. I need to finally "move in" to my house so that it isn't just a place I sleep anymore.
Vacation is fun but I always feel like I need a vacation from being on vacation. Anyone feel me? Maybe it's because none of our family is local so we are always traveling when we go on vacation but I always feel like I need at least a couple of days after to just be at one and get back to normal.
Also I am really behind at my second job. A bunch of new responsibilities were just handed to me and although I am really looking forward to managing them I still need to get myself together and get started. I have started but I kind of feel like I am always one step behind where I need to be at work right now.
Between new work responsibilities, finding time for my long distance relationship, performances, two jobs, applying for jobs, and rehearsals... I am a little bit strung out. BUT I was home for the first time this weekend in about a month and it was glorious. My room is now almost beautiful and that in itself can heal so many things.

Roughing It

This weekend A and I were able to sneak off and have a mini-vacation. He was able to request time off for an entire weekend (gasp!) so we booked a campsite a couple hours away near Idyllwild. We both love to camp but also have very little experience doing so and as it was our first trip just the two of us, we had some minor difficulties. For instance, due to work schedules, we arrived after dark and struggled to erect our tent (a grad gift) for the first time, especially because our lantern (also a grad gift) would not light because we couldn't figure out how to make it work in the dark. Luckily a military family camping next to us took pity on us and lent us their lantern so that we could set everything up (after which we figured out the lantern... go figure).
We love camping. It is nice to just get away from the city, breathe some clean air, roast some weenies, and get away from technology. Plus it is cheap so long as you have the supplies (most of which was gifted to us for graduation) so that works perfectly into our tight "justgraduatedandhavetonsofloansandbillsandnewfoundresponsibilities" budget. It was a fantastically lazy weekend. We literally sat around, ate food, talked, enjoyed each other's company, snoozed, took a walk, and had a water fight. It was completely perfect. I even only got sunburned a little! A is far too brown to burn... Lucky guy!
One of the things that the trip made me realize is how much I need would like a nice camera. I want to be able to look back and say, "wow we were super underprepared", or "look how I totally won that water fight... sucker!"when we are old and wrinkly. Or show our kids how young and dumb we were and how much fun we had anyways and how much we love each other. I'm considering just getting an ipod touch or something since those now have cameras and then I could just upload my pictures to instagram but it seems like kind of an unnecessary purchase since I already have a really old version of the ipod touch. And an ipad. And a laptop. I fully endorse simple, uncomplicated living and having that many technological gadgets seems unnecessary to me. Any thoughts? I have a digital camera that I should probably just use instead but that makes it such a process to upload to anywhere except for here.
Wow. I sound like such a little spoiled brat right now. Never mind. I will just find my old camera, and I will make it work. I am lucky to even have it.
Anyways, hopefully the next post will have some pictures. I adore me some pictures!!
I hope everyone had an amazingly relaxing weekend <3

Stress

People told me that when I graduated my life would not get easier. If anything, I was told that it would become more difficult. While it is true that my life has changed dramatically in the last few months, I don't think that it has gotten harder.

When I was in school, I had fun but my life mostly consisted of stress. I was stressed about school deadlines, work deadlines, upcoming dance performances, tests, homework, bills, family. You name it. Even when I was doing something fun to de-stress I couldn't fully enjoy it because the back of my head was constantly nagging and reminding me about the homework I should have been doing. I wasn't getting nearly enough sleep and as a result I was eating constantly to stay awake. My body revolted in a variety of forms; I was sick most of the time, I was physically in pain, and I was gaining a lot of weight.  None of this was okay with me but I couldn't seem to find any other way around it, even with my impeccable time management planning skills. Graduation seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel. If I could only just get there, everything would be okay...

I don't often create expectations in my mind for how things are going to be, maybe because I am afraid of being let down, or maybe because I just don't think about it. But Graduation was different. I was excited. I literally could not wait any longer. Being done with school could not come a minute too soon.

All of the sudden I was done, and guess what? I was right about one thing... It is easier happier.

Yes bills are stressful, yes moving is stressful, yes work can be stressful. Yes. BUT my downtime is my own now; there is nothing in the back of my mind nagging me to do homework. BUT I always have enough money to make it through and then some. BUT my deadlines are much more manageable now.

And then, one night, I made a promise to myself. I decided that from now on, my life is going to be as stress free and happy as possible. Life is just too short. If I don't get something done today, I will get it done tomorrow. If something goes wrong, calmly find a solution. There is absolutely no reason for stress, when life can be lived without. It just isn't worth it to live in that kind of environment all the time.  Obviously it is impossible to do without it entirely, but by taking steps to prevent it I feel that I am much happier now. I've lost weight. I sleep better. I make better choices. It can only be a good thing in my life.

Some things that help me to de-stress are as follows:
- Eating healthy --> This has been huge for me. Becoming a mostly vegetarian/vegan has made me feel so much better. My body seems to function so much better and I don't feel nearly as sluggish or icky. I literally feel clean.
- Exercising --> Everyone knows that exercise gives you endorphins which makes you happy. But honestly, feeling overweight is just such a downer. As I am getting healthier and finally losing some of the weight I put on while I was in school my mood just keeps going up and up! Not because I am getting skinnier, but because I feel more confident in my strength and health. Looking better is really just an added perk to the emotional boost that I get because I am pushing and challenging myself.
- Crocheting --> I love to crochet. No I'm not a granny. I love crocheting because it is mindless and repetitive, and sometimes that is exactly what I need to get my mind to turn off from my day. I happen to do really basic stuff when I crochet, like scarves and blankets. Nothing fancy, no frills. I also crochet to donate. Currently I am creating a collection of them so that I can bring a bunch all at once to a woman's shelter or something.
- Indulging --> This is so important to me. If I want Starbucks, I will get Starbucks. If I want an ice cream, that's okay. If I want to sit around and just read my book for an hour instead of doing something productive, I will. Now, obviously this can't happen every day or it wouldn't be an indulgence it would be a hinderance BUT the more I allow myself to indulge, the less I actually feel like I need to. The second I tell myself I cannot do something, I want to. By allowing myself to partake in these kinds of things, I feel less of a need to actually do them.
- Visiting friends --> Not many people live in my hometown anymore but I really enjoy going an seeing them anyways. It is always fun to get out and go somewhere else to hang out with people in their territory. It always feels like a mini vacation, even if it only lasts for a couple hours.
- Writing letters --> My best friend and I have been writing letters to each other since high school and its a practice that we still continue. I adore writing letters. With so much technological interference we sometimes forget how therapeutic hand writing things are. I could easily shoot her a text (and often do) but there is something that is just so thrilling about receiving something in the mailbox that is not a bill.
- Having a clean room --> This is huge for me. Organization and cleanliness are by far one of the easiest ways for my to head off stress.
- Looking nice --> It might sound superficial but I don't care. When I feel like I look good, I instantly feel more confident and happier. I carry myself differently because of how I feel.
- Playing with Beckham --> Let's face it, cats/kittens are hilarious. It always makes me laugh to see him doing crazy acrobatics while chasing something so mundane like a straw or piece of balled up paper. I mean seriously, who needs to buy "real" toys? :]

Pantry Makeover

So I have been getting really restless and can't focus on anything that is school related. I only have a week and a half left and its a good thing because I literally cannot take it anymore. I can't focus, I just can't seem to find the willpower. So today, after several failed attempts at studying, I decided to take on something that was driving me nuts... My Pantry.

I currently live in a small 3 bed 2 bath house with three other people: A married couple (T&G) and my former roommate (V). Because we have all lived on our own before living with each other, we have way too much stuff and have had to downsize, especially in the kitchen. Even after 6 months of living all together, we still have a lot of stuff and it tends to lead to heavy disorganization in the kitchen dept.
As for our pantry, it is just shy of being a walk in and we have divided the shelves according to:
1- Large storage, community storage, and animal food storage
2- V
3- T&G
4- Me
5- Tupperware
Floor- Alcohol
So with that being the layout I have exactly one shelf to house all of my pantry needs. We do not generally share our food with each other because everyone is very individual in their needs and wants and the logistics of trying to share would be a nightmare. Usually my shelf is pretty organized but lately I haven't been very careful and it is very easy for such a small amount of space to become out of hand. Plus it makes it hard to find anything so I never really know what I have or what I want to eat.

I apologize ahead of time for the crappy quality of all of the pictures in this post.  There isn't a light in our pantry.

So last week I needed to run some errands at Target and I decided to look into some super cute organizational baskets I had found via one of my favorite BLOGS and lo and behold, they were on sale! Hurray! Sales totally work in my broke college student budget! And what else? They just happen to come in my favorite color. You can't beat that!
At any rate I bought four and decided to leave them in my car until school was over buuuuut that was a fail. At least I waited a week right?
So I laid them out on my counter and started filling them with like things:

Snack Basket

Pasta/Lentils/Stuffing/Pasta Basket

Spices Basket

Cereal Basket

And then I put everything back into the pantry.

And now I feel so much better about my life and I can actually see everything that is in there. It is much more inspiring than before and it only took me about 10 minutes total. It's the little things that just make such a huge difference.

The Necessity of Work Out Buddies

When I was in high school, I was very very active. I was dancing around 30 hours a week between dance team at my school and studio classes and rehearsals. I ate constantly and not always the most healthily but it was okay because I was so active. In my sophomore year I had several adults in my life take me aside and ask me if I was struggling with eating disorders because I was 5'8" and weighed somewhere around 125lbs. I was teeny tiny. None of my friends bothered to ask me because they saw the absurd amount of food that I brought to school and ate throughout the day. I really miss that environment of not having a choice of whether to go to dance or not and getting pushed when I got there. I was strong and in fantastic shape and its because I had teachers yelling at me all day. I couldn't get away with not doing it.

I'm on the right. Look how skinny I was!

When I got to college, I was accepted onto the dance team here, so for a while I was able to be pushed and forced to exercise. But time went on and I kept getting injured and eventually couldn't be on the team anymore and I was just gaining and gaining weight. I'm not sure when I hit my highest weight but it was somewhere around 170. I was horrified. My dad had always told me that the day I stopped dancing I would get fat because I always just ate so much. And the thing is, when my dancing got to a minimum, my eating habits stayed the same as what I was used to doing with a 30 hour dance week. It's a common misconception that dancers don't eat. Wrong. Dancers eat more than any other group I have yet come into contact with. We love eating. It's our second favorite thing outside of dance. And I kept eating. And my dad was right.
I tried to go to the gym off and on throughout college. I would get really motivated and then the second I had to get out of bed early I would fail. Especially with my schedule, giving up even one hour of sleep seemed like too much of a sacrifice. If I decided to go after school I was  always hungry, or I had homework, or I hadn't seen my friends all week and wanted to see them now. Excuses. Logical and fairly legitimate excuses. But excuses nonetheless. And I was able to put it off until tomorrow, and tomorrow I was able to put it off until the next day. And so on. Clearly I wasn't making any progress.
(I will say that I have mostly changed my eating habits, and I'm proud of myself for that. Health is like 80% food and so far I am learning a lot and making huge progress.)
So with my motivation clearly not there, I decided that Lent would be the perfect time for me to start running. Clearly making the commitment to myself was not good enough motivation so I would make it to God. I decided that I would run three times a week. I never decided how much I was allowed to or needed to run, because I figured if I could just get myself out there I would do my best. It makes me sad to say that I have mostly followed through. So far I have gone twice a week. Or all the times that I have gone running though, only three times has been without a partner.

My Work-out Buddy

G lives in my house with me. His wife T and I were hallmates our freshman year of college while G was overseas serving our military. Now we all live together along with our other friend V. G and I started running together in the mornings. It's great because he is this huge Mexican man who is an army vet and is trained as a medic. He is literally the perfect person to run with, especially in my neighborhood, where young women really shouldn't go running alone unless its in the middle of the day. We got up this morning and I seriously didn't want to. It sounded like a good idea last night but as soon as my alarm went off I was praying that I wouldn't hear him get up so I could just go back to sleep. Well the jerk got up and I am so glad that he did. We went for our run, which is slowly getting faster and longer, and when we got back I was so grateful. This is why I never succeeded before. I needed someone to keep me accountable and make me run when I say I'm going to. He has even brought new ideas into our workout. Usually we do interval training and it is so much more effective that running and you can do more of it. It's a blessing to have someone in my life that will make sure I do this. I have already noticed myself getting stronger. V feels left out because she is a runner too, but she is far more experienced and I haven't told her that it is my goal to be able to run with her and not feel like a giant LOSER.
Anyways, the morale of the story is that if you don't have a work out buddy, you need to get one. The only times I have ever really been truly successful at working out consistently is when I've had a running partner or work out buddy that I meet at the gym. People are lazy, but we don't want to let our friends down.
Just do it :]

Almost Done

That has seriously been my mantra this entire quarter and now it really is true. Only 3 more weeks until I am officially a college graduate!!!

Can I get some applause here?

I am completely beyond excited. I have a whole list of things that I can't wait to be able to do and accomplish.
1. I have a whole bunch of books on my list to read.
2. I really want to get more into blogging. I follow a lot of blogs and have gotten a ton of great ideas that I would like to put into practice in my own life and then share that experience.
3. Cooking. I recently discovered Whole Foods. Oh my.
4. Organizing. Words can't express my excitement for this one.
5. Riding. Oh my. I can't wait for this. I have literally been dreaming about riding almost every night for the last month. I am so ready to be in the horse world again. My grandparents even brought me my chaps, boots, and helmet back from their house out of state so that I could have something to ride with next month. So so so so so excited.
6. I have started running. It is what I decided to do for Lent. Rather than give up something I decided to add something. Its still a sacrifice and takes will power and commitment so I have decided that it's acceptable. I usually become a pescatarian (sp?) for Lent but since I am trying to not eat a lot of meat anyways, I thought that would be a waste. I haven't been as good about running as I hoped to be but at least its a start.

My housemate G and I have been running together. This was from our 5am run this week.

7. Working. Call me crazy but I am so excited to take on the rest of my bills from my parents and just work, save, and be completely financially independent. Yahoo man. I love paying for myself, and creating budgets, the whole nine yards.
There are more things, but I'm in a rush right now so that's all for today.

Updates:
A finished up his training for his new job and was transfered from his local training location to a location near his home town. He is now about an hour away from me and it sucks. I miss him terribly and even though I have already visited him once, I know that I won't be able to do it all the time because it is a lot of gas and time to see him. It has been a little hard to cope since I'm used to having him around all the time but honestly the hardest part is (predictably) at night. I don't feel as safe (or as warm... he's seriously my heat blanket) when I'm falling asleep and therefore fall asleep later and don't get as much sleep, leading to me missing or turning off my alarms without waking up. Its been bad, and I want to adjust but then again I don't because then its like I'm used to not being with him :[

This is from 2 1/2 years ago in Tahoe. Can you believe how time flies?!

I got a 100% on my African history midterm :]

I got to perform with my dance company PPDC at a Guardian Scholars event. This is particularly near and dear to my heart because the Guardian Scholars is a group that helps emancipated foster kids go through college, and I want to work with foster kids. Plus it was just a really great day to bond with the group and get to know everyone a little better.

This is most of PPDC <3

I think that's mostly it except to say that there are a lot more posts coming in March and then onward. I am so excited for the next few months. Big changes are coming in my life and I can't wait to share!

Beginnings

I can't believe that it is already 2013. The past few weeks have been crazy and fun and exhausting. Why is it that vacations always seem to tire me out?
Spending time with my family was great. We lazed around, spent time in the snow, read a lot, and mot importantly, stuffed ourselves. I swear that I gained about 10 pounds over the break. That's just how my family rolls, we literally plan our vacations around food. Don't judge :]

Enjoying the Snow with my Daddy

Driving Down the Lake :]

Our house <3

Bowling. Don't make fun of my terrible score!

My dad is awesome!

My Granny hates the deer that come in her backyard

My Dad's side of the family

In short, Christmas was fun, and it was lovely to spend time with my family, but I was looking forward to getting home. I it weird that I felt like I needed a vacation after my vacation?

In no time, I was back at work and back in school. I am now in my second week of school and I am already going crazy. In fact, I have already dropped one of my classes. I am still going to sit in on it, but it was just so much work for a class that I don't need when all of my other classes, that I actually need to graduate, have almost more work than i can handle on their own. Add that to my two jobs, and the dance company that I just started dancing with and I am already exhausted and stressed to the max. So today I went to my advisor and she told me that it wouldn't screw me up to drop it so I happy came home, broke out my computer, and immediately dropped it. 

I have also already hurt myself, which sucks. For almost a week I couldn't straighten my left leg. Its been rough. Its finally almost better, but its definitely been getting in the way. 

Also, A started his new job this Monday! He's been working long hours but he is slowly settling in. I am excited to see where this takes him.

My grandparents are also in town. They will be here for about two months and so far its been fun to see them this much and despite the reason for their stay, I'm glad that I get to spend the time with them.

So... Sorry for the really long break. I'm finally back again. 

And for your parting gift, please accept this picture :]

Look how cute my housemates are!!

Finals pt.2

Every quarter  there are a few weeks that make you want to run around banging your head on anything hard enough to make you knock yourself out. I thought that this week was not going to be one of them. I thought that for once I was going to have a finals week that was calm, cool, and collected. Oh boy. I was wrong there. Due to a small oversight, that if caught a month ago could have been miniscule and easily fixable and avoided, I am now overwhelmed and stressed out. The worst part is I simultaneously let someone I really care about down AND I have to live with the fact that it's my fault. I'm sure that in the grand scheme of things, its really not that big of a deal, but right now it is, and right now I'm not feeling so hot about it.

***

In other news, A got a call this morning from his new job and they told him that he has the opportunity to start in January instead of June. A powwow with myself and our friend T later, and I think he is going to choose to start in January. He was looking forward to a little break before throwing himself into the grind of being a fully-fledged adult but I think that he's going to be ok without it.

***

On a happy note, A and I had a spontaneous date night last night. We went down to downtown for the Festival of Lights and it was beautiful. He got us caramel corn and we just walked around. The lights are incredible and there are horse drawn carriages, an ice skating rink, performances, and it was just perfect. We had a great time together. And then he took me out to In-N-Out, which I've been craving for weeks. It was a perfect way to get out from the crazy stress of work and school and just spend some quality time together. And it was cheap too so that works perfectly into our budget :]

Speaking of Dreams

I know that this may sound insane, but lately I have been coveting a secret dream. I haven't really told anyone about it because I know that it is going to sound crazy to everyone else.
My Dream
I grew up around horses. Helping my grandparents take care of their horses, taking lessons, having my own horse. My first passion and love has always been horses. I had to stop taking riding lessons the summer after my freshman year in highschool because we couldn't afford the time or money for both lessons and dancing. I knew that I could always go back to riding, while my body would not be able to dance forever. I spent two weeks of my summer with my grandparents working every day with their horses and I totally got the bug again. Ever since, there has been this dull ache that constantly reminds me that I miss my horses. I know that sounds corny but I am being so serious that I can't even put it into words.

Me and my baby Noel a few years ago.

The Problem
Well, for starters, I'm a college student that's about to graduate in a quarter. I pay for nearly everything myself and as soon as I graduate I will most likely take on the rest of my financial burdens. I'm pretty good with my money but money is tight, duh. Riding is expensive. The cheapest barn I have found is 40$ a lesson and that's pretty good. If I only take one lesson a week that comes out to 160$ a month. Now, if I was really desperate, I could probably only take a lesson once every other week, which would only be 80$ a month. That is totally doable for me.
Unfortunately, gas is also expensive and the closest barn is about 20-30 minutes away.
The other problem is that I am being more and more short on time. Dance is taking up more and more of my time and I work every day except for Sunday. As soon as I am out of school by nights will be freed up considerably but I want to start sooner than that.

This summer on Hank

The Solution
Well, honestly I don't know. I want to. Badly. If I had thought about it more thoroughly, I would have asked for this for Christmas. Unfortunately, I am a little late on that. That's okay with me though, this is really something that I would like to do myself, for myself. This is something that I feel I need to do so I  need to pay for this myself. I guess that I will pray on it, and at least wait until the holidays are over so I can see where my finances are at then. As soon as I graduate I will be making a lot more money so in about 3 1/2 months I will definitely be able to do it. I just don't know if I want to wait that long.